-colourful language time-

I am so fucking pissed off with being treated like I'm the cruellest thing on Earth just because some little wimp bursts into tears over FUCK ALL.

So I'm having a slight debate with someone over some tiny misunderstanding, I'm completely in the fucking right, we're being civilised, we're talking about it, then she gets all sulky and then suddenly bursts into fucking baby tears because I try to bring the argument to a close and suddenly I'M in the wrong?? What. The. Fuck.

So she's sitting there wailing like a pissing toddler and loads of interfering little fucks crowd around and give her a nice cuddle-wuddle and glare at me like I'm a bully? So what if I fucking started crying too, THEN I wouldn't be the bad guy, would I??

So I'm sitting there all '-.- oh wtf.' and the conversation goes:

Geo: Oh come on. There's no need to cry.
Crybaby: YH DERE IZ U IS VIKTIMIZIN ME U MEAAAAN
Geo: Oh please. -.-
Random nosy person: GEO YUR SO MEAN DERE DERE CRYBABY IT'S OKAY WE KNO SHES HORIBL 2 U
Geo: I haven't done anything fucking wrong!
Random nosy person 2: U WER SHOUTIN AT HER ND U MAYD HER CRY IT MUST BE UR FAULT IF SHE'S CRYINNNN
Geo: We were just having a civilised conversation and she starts bawling like a bloody 2-year-old!
Crybaby: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Random nosy person 3: OMG UR SUCH A SHLAG FUCK U

For fuck sake.

/rant

I went to see Fall Out Boy live yesterday.

Oh.

My.

GOD.

Geo + Co were RIGHT at the front of the mosh jumping and screaming and ohh my God.

And they started with Thanks for the Memories and kept letting the audience sing some of the words and Pete Wentz kept doing crazy shit with the guitar and whoaa.

And Geo + 2 girlies skreemed 'WE LOVE YOU PETE' extremely loudly and he laughs and goes 'ahaha, I love you too ' and we all died.

And then at the end he JUMPED into the front of the mosh and all these fans were /mauling/ at him and he couldn't get back up again aww bless. Patrick had to heave him back up xD

So Geo was losing her voice from skreeming and her legs had gone dead and she was being moshed to death and then they played Saturday and it ended.

And everyone left.

BUT because we had VIP tickets we got to go and meet them and omfg anfgsdngjsdngdj.

I GOT HUGS OFF ALL OF THEM OMIGOD D:

I didn't get autographs though xD

IT WAS THE BEST FRIDAY NIGHT EVER HFASFJKAGBH.

Skank'd from

1. Are you single or taken?
Single kthx 8D

2. Chocolate or flowers?
Chocolate. It's my favourite substance on Earth with the possible exception of Spore D:

3. Will you do anything special for Valentines Day?
Omgyes. Not liek, anything VALENTINESY, 'cause that'd be corny and lame and involve lovey-dovey shit. But this year I is going to WAAALEZ with Laura and Spo for a four-day sleepover AND IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME, BITCHES 8D

4.Do you like anyone?
Apart from my secret lovers -winkwinknudgenudge- ;3

5. Were you dating anyone last Valentines?
Nupe. o= It was a depressing day, that. x3

6. What would be your dream Valentines date?
..Wales. Laura. Spo. I don't care if it doesn't count. 8D

7. Do you make a big deal about Valentines?
Lolno. It's usually my least favourite day of the year, but y'know. This time it's different.

8. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
..I dunno. o.o;;

9. Would you ever write someone a love letter?
I have written several 8D Most of them are on Laura's bedroom wall, apparently (Y)

10. Do you believe in Cupid?
Lol. No.

11. Do your parents give you presents on Valentines?
xD No. Sometimes I nick the chocolates they give each other, though.

12. Do you still send out Valentines cards?
x3 I never did.

13. Do you like candy hearts?
YES. YESYESYES. D: Those little ones with the words on them OHMYGOD. Though this one time me and my friend had a packet of them and made dorky little songs to all the mottoes on them..in fact there was one that said 'you're gorgeous' on it.
So we sang.

When I was alone,
And feel down,
You were always there for me,
Down town.
You were a girl.
I was a girl too. (Y)
We made love.
In a shoe.
YOOOU'RE GOORGEOUS. 8D

And then threw them out the window.
Hellyeah.
We were high shut up xD

15. Is Valentines depressing?
Uh, usually. Last year I had to endure people talking nonstop about their dates and looking at me pityingly and AARGHH and then wandering off with 'em and leaving me alone and it sucked. e__e But sometimes I just have a huge girlie sleepover and THIS year it's gonna be the best day evar due to my best and most awesome friends so YEAH.

16. How do you feel about PDA?
..Who?

17. How is your love life?
Nonexistent. And proud. 8D

18. Have you ever been dumped on Valentines?
No. 8D

19. How many roses would you want?
..Flowers? ..None. ^^ The chocolates? 8496439 and 8/19ths.

20. Will you have a boyfriend/girlfriend next Valentines?
I hope not. 8D; -sings Single softly- Ooh, alliteration.

21. Tag 5 people and see their answers!
LauraSpo. Their answers will amuse me.
And whoever the hell wants to do it. 8D

--------------------

Okay so as you may have just read I'MMA GOING TO WALES WITH MAH FRIENDIES. O=

We haven't seen each other since August and OHMAII IT'S GOING TO BE EPIC.

We're staying at Laura's house and we're gonna redecorate her bedroom (scribble all over it (Y)), wander around town wearing pyjamas and carrying teddy bears, take cucumbers into cinemas, visit random people, flirt, sit in wardrobes, sit under beds, sit on the roof (Y), learn to cartwheel, dance, ferretdance, poledance, lapdance and the like. 8D I CAN'T WAIT, BITCHEZ.

The Wardrobe Incident.

Yesterday = funniest phone convo evarr.

Spo decided to phone me. Randomly. And decided she was going to climb into her wardrobe. Randomly. (Y)

So of course Geo did too.

The convo went slightly like this...

Spo: Right. I'm in the wardrobe. I'mma shut the door. 8D
Geo: Saaame. How cool are we. 8D
Spo: ...Ah. Right. Geo.
Geo: Yeshh? O=
Spo: Spo got a /problem./
Geo: Ohdear. What? XD
Spo: ...I closed the wardrobe door..
Geo: ...Yes?
Spo: And, er, now I can't open it again. (Y)
Geo: ..Ohdear. -pushes hard on my wardrobe door- ..FUCK. o.o
Spo: ..Now what?
Geo: MINE DOESN'T OPEN EITHER. XD
Spo: -maniacal laughter-
Geo: Now what??
Spo: Ummm. xD
Geo: XD I'M SITTING ON /EVERYTHING/ AND SOMETHING SHARP'S GOING UP MY ASS.
Spo: Ooh-err. XD
Geo: I'm slightly worried. xD ..there's a white thing on the back of my wardrobe. And my clothes are hitting me in the face. (Y)
Spo: You could, liek, shout to a brother..?
Geo: ...Downstairs. XD
Spo: ...Mm. Same. XD ...Umm. Got your mobile?
Geo: Nope. Just the homephone. (Y)
Spo: ..You could, leik, phone Laura and..tell...her? XD
Geo: ...HOW?? XD
Spo: I DON'T KNOW. XDD
Geo: -maniacal laughter-
Spo: OH GOD, SPONGE-O ARE SIMULTANEOUSLY DOOMED. XD
Geo: WE'RE GONNA SET UP A HOME IN HERE AND STARVE TO DEATH. ...IT'S DARK.
Spo: XD I'm sure someone'll let us out eventually.
Geo: ..And now what?
Spo: ....XD
Geo: RIGHT. RIGHT. I'M GETTING OUT OF THIS WARDROBE. -smacks head on wardrobe door- OOOOWWW.
Spo: XD GEO. ARE YOU OKAY.
Geo: I'M GETTING OUT NAO OKAY. -shoooove- -loud flump sound- -BANG-
Spo: ..Geo?
Geo: ..Right. Well. I'm OUT. XD I'M FREEEE.
Spo: I did hear some rather worrying noise thar. XD
Geo: Yeah, that was probably me landing on my face. (Y)
Spo: ..What did you DO?? XD
Geo: Knocked the door off the hinge XD
Spo: ..Geo. Is TD on MSN?
Geo: Yesh. x3
Spo: ...Can you go tell her to let me out? XD
Geo: Sure. (Y) -MSNrun-
Spo: Phew. XD
Geo: TD.
TD: Aye?
Geo: Spo's stuck in her wardrobe...she wants you to let her out. XD
TD: ....brb.
Geo: TD TO THE RESCUE 8D
Spo: WHOOOOOOO.
Geo: Is she coming? XD
Spo: I HEAR THE DOOR OPENING. I'M SAVED. 8D
TD: -opens door-
Spo: ...Hi. ^^
TD: ..You're odd.

It was AMUSING. XD

Yes. That is all.

WALES ON SATURDAY

Okai.
So.
Today.
We were sitting in English.
And it started /pelting it down with snow./
And continued for two hours.
And then at break we all step outside and there are people skreeming all around us.
And Geo grins and goes 'wicked.'
And that's the signal for everyone to go MAD.
We all went outside /screaming/, and throwing snowballs at each other, and being all euphoric and happy.
And then we had to go to next lesson and were all '-.-'
UNTIL.
A math teacher walks in and goes 'yur going home ^^'
And we all /scream the place down/.
And run outside, and phone people, and throw more snowballs, and Geo gets buried in the snow, and we take zillions of photos, and dance, and film people, and get shiteloads of FOOTAGE, and eat chocolate, and vandalise school books, and then all /pile/ into E3 where we all sign out, and at twenty past 11 we FINALLY get out.

So Hannah and Geo and Kryst all walk to Charlotte's house, and get equipped with food/gloves/scarves/coats/WELLIES OMG, and have a huuuge snowball fight with her brother, and then we started running out of snow so we got out a sledge and went sledding in the hills and Geo pushed Kryst's sled into a car. x3 Oopsies.

And then we wandered around jumping in the snow and smashing snowballs on each other's heads and getting FOOTAGE, and then all went indoors and played Guitar Hero IT WUZ EPIC.

AND THE SNOW'S STILL FALLING, YOU KNOW.

ONE FOOT OF SNOW AND GROWING.

SNOW DAY TOMORROW?

I HOPE. 8D

GEOUT. <3

I listened to all our old songs today.
I saw one of my friends, the new ones.
She asked if I was okay..
I told her it hurt a lot.
But it was fine.
But my eyes were dead.

I miss them.
I really, really miss them.
I would do it all again.
All of it.
Everything we went through.
Just for another day with all of them..

I'm learning to appreciate the things I have.
I'm learning to accept that people will always leave me.
I'm learning to live without them.
It hurts, desperately.
I remember one of them saying...
People were always best when they were 12, or 13.
I guess everything had to change..
We grew up.
We're all older.
We're not at that 'awesome age' anymore.

I'm very lucky, even now.
I still have one of my old friends.
And I have a newer one, a little younger.
Whom I love with all my soul.
I would not trade this life for anything.
But if I could go back..
Even if I had to get through everything again.
I would.

It still hurts to listen.
I get flashbacks of the past.
Of me, and our happy conversations.
All our laughs.
Helping each other..
Me, and those six.
I think I'm seeing two of them again, this summer..
It won't be the same.
But though I haven't spoken to them, all six..
Well, I've seen them around.
Things are very different between us.
But I know they're okay, they're safe.
That'll have to be enough for me.

Can you see me now?
Can you see what the girl you used to laugh with has become?
I'm doing okay, guys...
I know I shouldn't care anymore.
I know we all have our own lives now.
But I do think about you sometimes..
I wonder how you're doing.
I'm doing fine...
I've got some new friends.
I've got two really good ones..
I'm going to Wales next month.
I've gotten a lot taller, and I look a lot different.
Maybe you wouldn't even recognize me.
Maybe you don't want to remember..

I know this journal doesn't make any sense.
I'm just venting, k? x3
You'll hear about it if it concerns you.
It's not the past I have to look at.
Or in the future I'll be sad about missing what I have now..
My best friend, and my little sister, and the life we have together (:

You know who you are.
I do love you. :3



We've waited far too long to
Watch it all crash and fall-through,
So when you feel like shit, you gotta keep on pushing
If you saw the world through my eyes,
Then you wouldn't feel so high-rise
It's time to take a chance
You've gotta sit back
And hold tight

There's forces working in our heads
But we don't understand them
I need a map to find my way out all the time
There's curses lurking in our heads
But we don't want to find them
We need to come back down
And face what we've become

The more I think, the more I wish I'd
Pushed stop, then hit rewind
What I would give to have a day back then,
But no-one really cares
I remember when we all used to
Kick back, take days off school
So many times I've smiled
Many times I've cried
But never did we try